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Author: jmlight (Page 3 of 9)

Chemo Climb 2016

A week ago, I actually climbed a real route in the Gunks (New Paltz) – and even though it took me half an hour longer than it should have and I was huffing like I was at 25000 feet, I actually followed the whole thing clean, no falls or weighting the rope or anything. It was the best day I’d had in months, even though I couldn’t really move for two days afterward. Thanks to Felix Danila for guiding me and taking this photo.

20161023_140126I realize this is ridiculous, but I’m starting to feel a little guilty. It makes me sad to sit in the chemo room next to so many people who are really struggling and have the nurses comment loudly on how well I’m doing. Not that everyone is anything but supportive and upbeat… in fact, it’s a surprisingly friendly room, given the hell that so many people are going through. Chemo-side-effect remedies are a wonderful topic to bond over with strangers.

So yes, I’ve been doing well. The pattern is holding so far this time – I’ve been sick and run down since chemo Thursday, but I’ll probably be fine in the next few days. This last one was number 6, which means I’m halfway through, believe it or not. As I’ve said before, it feels like I’ve had this forever and that I only just started last week, all at the same time.

So anyway…chugging along. Give someone a hug today.

 

I’ve been doing this for two months?

So I wrote an update a week ago, and my chemo brain prevented me from actually posting it, and I only just found out it was missing when I went to write something new today…so forgive the delay..

The last cycle was actually fine. The best post-chemo week I’ve had in a whole two months.  Not even a joke – I felt pretty good for almost the full two weeks. Still fatigued (of course) – but I walked 20 blocks last week and didn’t collapse, I had a huge Rosh Hashanah meal and didn’t feel like I had to s’lichot it back up, and I haven’t really lost any more hair (although I did give myself quite a bit of a mow just to avoid shedding everywhere…)

Which brings me to this past week, and more good news: I had the traditional Yom Kippur PET scan on Wednesday, and – in a nutshell – this s**t is working. The doc said the results were better than he expected, and the lymph nodes have really shrunk. Of course I asked if that meant I could stop the treatment early. He just laughed and laughed.

Then I had chemo Number 5 yesterday, and today I’m feeling spent, but not terrible. So all in all, I have been so terribly lucky with all this. I see other patients here who are enduring so much, and I almost feel guilty that I can’t share their pain.

The chemo has just become a part of my life that I have to endure – like a really annoying bi-weekly gig for terrible clients who fill my arteries with poison and make me sick. It feels like I’ve been doing this since I was 10, but at the same time just started it last week – it’s surreal how it just becomes part of your schedule and routine, even if you don’t really ever get used to it.

Let me wrap this up by imploring anyone who might even be considering it: please don’t vote for Trump. He is just horrible. It’s a shame that this isn’t just self-evident to everyone, but it’s really  scary that it’s even close. I made a dumb joke during the debates about him causing me cancer all over again, but then I realized that this might actually be true – my symptoms started around the time he sealed up the nomination, and that just can’t be a coincidence. A lot of people are saying it, believe me.

All my love to everybody – please keep in touch.

Sautéed Cardboard with A Cardboard Coulis Over a Bed of Cardboard

That’s what’s on the menu as of last night. They try to warn you about the possibility that your taste buds will be decimated, but it’s not good this round.

I can basically only taste really salty things and sriracha, and the latter makes me sick. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. BUT the good news is it should be short-lived…hopefully by next week I’ll be back to my normal, eat-everything self.

Other than that, things went fine at chemo number 4 yesterday. I have an appointment with the doctor on Monday for a quarter-cycle checkup and I’ll have another PET scan next week so we’ll see just how effective it’s been. The doc is pretty sure I’m doing fine, and his optimism is contagious, so as long as this thing is going away, I’ll deal with having everything taste like a Cardboard Special with Cardboard Slaw and Cardboard Dressing on Rye Cardboard.

And besides, it just means there more for this guy to eat:

isaac-eating

CLIMBING METAPHOR ALERT!

I know I promised to keep these to a minimum, but climbing mountains is the perfect metaphor for anything in life, so I can’t resist…

There are sections of long climbs that have easy, gentle terrain – the climbing is not too difficult, you can move un-roped, it’s generally secure, and you feel that things are going fine.

But you also have a view of the massive headwall that looms in the distance, growing bigger and bigger as you approach…in the back of your mind, you know you’ll have to tackle that soon, and endure several days of agony. But beyond THAT is more easy, fun climbing…it’s a wonderful cycle.

Well that’s generally where I am right now. I will reach that headwall this coming Thursday, and the days after that will be a bit a’ rough, but for now the climbing is pretty easy and I’m moving well. It’s been a good couple of days in the mountains.

 

 

Nausea sucks

And not even just the thing – even the word sucks. Who came up with that word? I feel slightly nauseous and then just saying the word out loud makes me feel even more nauseous. It’s one of those words that looks and sounds EXACTLY like what it is, isn’t it?

Fun grammatical fact: the correct word to convey the state-of-being of nausea is actually “nauseated” – so I should have written “I feel nauseated.” But now I’m even more nauseated, because I just realized I’m being THAT guy. Sometimes you just gotta let these things slide.

Other than that, I’m doing well enough after my third treatment on Thursday. The last two days have been not the best – I’m fatigued and feeling really “off” – but I’m functional enough. There’s some soreness from the magical white-blood cell shot Neulasta [see our ad on the Sunday morning shows!] but that should pass soon as well. Hopefully the next 13 days will be uneventful – each day farther away from the chemo day is better, so I just have to hang on until the next one.

The nurses were very happy to see me with all my hair, but they were skeptical that it would last much longer. I explained to them that very few things on this planet can conquer my Jew-Fro, so we’ll see who wins this battle.

And, as always, if for some reason this isn’t a detailed enough update for you, please call/write/whatever. It’s been wonderful to hear from everybody, and the support and outreach has been just epic. I’m very, very grateful.

 

 

 

 

 

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